The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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