Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize