Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
