I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
