We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
