just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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