why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
