he puts the penis in happiness.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
