pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize