what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize