So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
