What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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