I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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