i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Come see our sink grown plant.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
