I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize