okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
