Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize