Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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