and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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