This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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