1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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