theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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