We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
do nipples grow back?
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