I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
