The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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