We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I met the friendliest cop last night
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize