that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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