I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
