we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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