Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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