butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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