My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
