never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
