I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
