So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
