I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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