Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
