he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The feeling are messing with the penis
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
