So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
