btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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