Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Randomize
