you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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