We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
