I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Boobs are out for the taking
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
