And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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