Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
