we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
