We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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