so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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