just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
