Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
