All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Randomize
