how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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