What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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