Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
