Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize