He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
