just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
