Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
