He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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