you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
