Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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