I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
