i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize