Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just threw up on my dentist
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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