lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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