He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
