If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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