Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Randomize
